You all know that I hate Facebook. (Or if you're new here, now you know.)
Let me give you a few good examples of exactly why I hate it.
On the other hand, it's not really Facebook itself that I hate...
Perhaps maybe it's time to do some spring cleaning in the Friend List.
Depressed emo girl who does nothing but whine on Facebook says:
I can not sleep for the life of me some one text me!!! 842 437 4719 please!!
How lame are you??
Zombie Mommy (who coincidentally is my friend A from this post) says:
So i am a bit annoyed that the outfit i packed for myself doesn't match (actually clashes) with the outfit i packed for {baby}...am i the only one...?
Lawd have mercy. And yes, you are the only one.
Fellow Navy sailor girl who happens to be a dirty slut that I can't stand and who only posts updates that have some sort of shock value says:
Today I saw a gorilla bone a pig doggy style.
Really?? How nice. Really.
This from a not-so-favorite Navy wife who I suspect is a flake:
Good night to go clubbin'... who wants to go?!?
Accompanied by a tagged album with pictures of her St. Patty's Day makeup (yes. I shit you not. pictures of her makeup.) and random guy 'friends' kissing her cheek, hugging her, etc... yeah, she's a keeper.
And her hubby is gone on deployment right now. Classy dame, huh?
Random guy who was the pastor's son at my childhood church; and who FB-friended me even though I haven't talked to him in like 20 years (and we were never friends in real life) says:
Making a white sause for my noodles.
Learn how to spell. And congratu-fucking-lations on the sauce for your noodles. And we care why?
New Navy Wife/Mommy who is the sweetest, nicest, most boring person I've ever met says:
Up feeding {baby}. she didn't sleep very well at all. I put her to bed around 11:30 and I hoped she wouldn't wake up til around 7. but no she woke up at 3:30 then at 4:45 then 5:45. and I cant sleep in today. Im soo tired...
Shouldn't you at least attempt to rest or take a nap instead of Facebooking about how tired you are? (And not to be mean, but nobody cares about the exact times that your baby woke up last night. At least, I don't.)
My annoying 36 year-old cousin who ~ up until a year ago was just a Zombie ~ and is now a Zombie Wifey/Mommy says:
{baby} is in bed, time to spend some QT with my hubby!
You are exactly correct. So what the fuck are you doing on FB instead???
And my personal favorite for the week, from none other than...
Psycho Maria. Of course. It had to be her.
Psycho Maria says:
Taking a break from facebook.
Coulda fooled me. *snorts derisively*
Anyways, enough.
The best FB updates, however, are the cryptic announcements that are purposely stated just to elicit comments and responses (ex: "Tired of other people's bullshit!") and then nobody comments or responds or "likes" it. Take a hint, people.
Thus ends the "hate" rant about my love/hate relationship with Facebook. For now. ♦
LOL! I like FB but I know EXACTLY what you mean about the lame updates! Like the following from last night, posted by a girl I went to high school with:
ReplyDelete"playn sum wii"
And then just a few minutes later ...
"drinkn redbull an vodka"
Are you kidding? I expected the next one to be, "takn a dump" or something. :)
@Rita ~ YES! Thank goodness someone else has people they can't stand as FB friends. :P
ReplyDeleteI dont do FB. Period. You just listed a few more reason why I won't be in the future. Are there any good reason to do it. I see my kids and wife on it and it seems alot of folks get FB brain and tend to start sharing what they are doing even off facebook. BTW, what kinda zoos ya'll running up there? Yikes. Keep Ranting.
ReplyDeleteThose are hilarious. I need to do some spring cleaning on my facebook too.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was stationed at Ft. Lewis. A guy that lives 30 minutes from us was in his unit and they met there. Now they do drill together. His girlfriend is seriously like 18 and every time they drill she bitches and whines about it all weekend. I wanna just comment and tell her to get the hell over it.
I am guilty of all mentioned sins! That's one of the joys of Facebook; you can update your friends and loved ones of what's happening in your life!
ReplyDeleteI've moved my updates onto Twitter now. My Twitter-stream pretty much consists of tweets like:
"Need to poop"
"Going for a poop"
"What a good poop"
"Need to pee now"
And other equally sexy thoughts! Previously these could be enjoyed via Facebook. But I had to stop when my parents joined.. :D
xx
oh boy, do we have similar friends or what!? haha. this is hilarious, lady. i am still cracking up!
ReplyDeleteDude, the only time I go on there is when I get an email saying one of my sisters wrote on my wall.
ReplyDeleteYou have inspired me, I think I'm going to clean out all the random ass people I have as friends tonight. Like the "friends" I worked with 10 jobs ago, yeah they need to go...
I don't spend much time on Facebook nowadays. I just can't take people and their shitty drama. Goddamn! I need to do a similar post! HA!
ReplyDeleteLol talking bout moronic updates..
ReplyDelete"I love my McIntosh"
ok...so? you wanna hump it?
ffffff...k
I'm tired of FB already and have only been on like four months. Have a complete downer of a "friend" who posts things like "to the person who said blah-blahblah -- you know who you are! -- how dare you question me? You don't know me!" which is then followed by a pack of her cronies typing "oh, honey, who hurt you? Tell me who!" for about 20 comments.
ReplyDeleteI've been forced to "hide" her...
Pearl
I love this post. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know I'm lame these days ;)
ReplyDelete