Today I feel very stream-of-conscious-ish.
Today I woke up with the peculiar feeling that, while not quite sick yet, I was going to get sick. That feeling has never failed me. Sure enough, it didn't get any better by the time I got to work; scratchy throat, dry hacking cough that makes your chest burn afterwards, feverish and a little light-headed. After morning muster I headed down to sick call and arrived at Medical at 8:05.
The corpsman at the front desk gave me a sympathetic look and then all but told me to go fuck myself. "Shouldna been late for sick call," he drawled. I never go to Medical (and this is exactly the reason why) because in the Navy, you are only allowed to be ill during the sick call hours of 7:30 to 8:00 in the morning. After 8:00, you must be lying in order to try to get out of work, because "if you're so sick, why didn't you come to sick call this morning? Huh?" Asses.
Today my senior chief took pity on me and let my sickly ass leave at noon, mostly because my usefulness factor is equivalent to that of an infant he must've gotten laid last night he's such a nice guy.
Today I ran into a girl from my boot camp division. She's the first person (besides the Nukes) from my boot camp div that I've run into since I graduated two years ago. She was standing quarterdeck watch as I boarded the ship.
She looked at me funny. I looked at her funny. Neither one of us said anything. Even though she was one of the less bitchy nicer girls from boot camp, I had nooooooo desire to talk to her. Just seeing her face almost sent me into a flashback seizure. Interesting how you can spend nine intimate weeks of pure hell with someone and still feel no common bond with them afterwards?
Besides, what is there to say? "Hey, remember me from boot camp? Yeah... soooo... what have you been up to since then? Oh? You've been slaving your life away in the Navy? Me too, how weird... *uncomfortably long pause* well, see ya later..." Nope, no thanks. I'd rather spare us both the awkwardness and walk away without saying anything and instead let her think I'm a stuck-up bitch.
Today I heard a commercial for a local car dealership on the radio. A woman's voice blared from car speakers, "Hurry before the savings ends and get your ass into a brand-new Kia today!" Startled, I thought maybe I had heard wrong. They didn't actually say 'ass', they said 'a-bleep!', but still... I shook my head, chalked it up to not having drank enough coffee yet, and forgot about it.
Today on the way home, I heard the same commercial again. It definitely said "...get your a-bleeeeeep! into a brand new Kia today!" What the fuck is the world coming to when an everyday commercial has to have obscenity in it? I'm obviously not opposed to potty language, but I found it a little offensive because it simply seemed so unprofessional.
Like the house that Sean looked at here before we moved from South Carolina. We loved it but decided not to rent because the skeezy realtor dropped variations of the word "fuck" into casual conversation no less than three times while showing it to him. As Sean disgustedly put it, "Who the fuck says 'fuck' when trying to close a business deal with a total stranger??" It's just bad business, plain and simple. It grabs the auditory senses, assuredly, but a lot of conservatives out there (people like my parental units) will hear that commercial and decide never to buy a car from that dealer simply because of one little bleeped-out word.
Today I ate half a bag of dark chocolate Easter M&Ms that I bought at Walgreens earlier this week (50% off, people! How could I say no??) and then hid from Sean because I had just finished admonishing him the day before about how we should really start eating more healthy food and less crap. Oops. And I wonder why I don't have supermodel legs...
And now you know where cellulite comes from and why it's all lumpish-looking. It's all those damn M&Ms that went straight to the thighs without being digested properly.
Today I got a weird text from Sally. (If you're confused, just click the 'Harry And Sally' label and enjoy. She's a piece of work, that one.) She hasn't once attempted to talk to me since she moved to another part of the base in SC last summer, and the silence has been golden. Golden, people. "Hay just wanted to say hi and see how ur doin!" Oh, Sally... *shakes head and smiles*... you're so transparent. Interpreted properly, this text actually reads "Hay I have mad drama to complain about and since I burned some bridges and don't have any friends at the moment, I thought I'd lure you into my web of drama so I'll have someone to complain to about it!" Ick. Or perhaps I should call her. I could use a good laugh.
Today I took a rare nap. Unless I'm truly ill to the verge of non-functional, or falling asleep while walking a la Mr. Bean in Rat Race, I never nap. I always feel guilty, as though I have more productive things to do than sleeping and I can't sleep until they're all done. Is this normal?
Ironically enough, I waste way more time reading and writing blogs than I would if I was napping. Go figure. ♦
WTF? Just kidding...couldn't resist. I love potty language as much as any dockworker, but there are times when it jars. Are their language skills so negligible they can't think of anything else to say?
ReplyDeleteThe next bag of M&Ms I get, I'm totally going to see if they are the same size as the dimples in my cheeks. (No, that those cheeks.) You might be on to something.
I am only learning just now that you don't have to talk to everyone who you might have met or known at one time. It has been a useful skill. You are wise. I think you are so right about the text message...Pandora's Box and all, so be careful~!
Hay girl. ;) Your encounter (or lack thereof?) with the girl from boot camp reminds me of something that happened to me a couple months ago. I was at the hospital in my hometown visiting someone and walked by a girl I'd gone to school with. We were never friends, just very casual acquaintances, and I hadn't seen nor heard from (nor thought of) her since high school. She was talking to someone and as I walked by, her eyes locked on mine and I saw that she recognized me. Out of sheer surprise, I said, "Leah!" but that didn't mean I actually wanted to talk to her ... I was just surprised to see her. But she gave me this look like, "I'm talking to someone else, bitch" and I just walked away. I don't know. Your story just reminded me of that bit of awkwardness.
ReplyDeleteAaaaaaand, end weird ramble.
Mmmm, discount Easter candy ...
Being a bit on the consevative side I don't appreciate the Ads with those words. I would tend to not buy from them. At they same time I enjoy reading your post, but I aint buying nothing from you nor do I have to explain it to my 7 year old.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised she hasn't found you on facebook by now. That's the kinda shit that happens to me.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't be eating bag after bag of M&M's if you are sick. ;)
You know your feed doesn't come up on my reader at all! I'm one of your followers so it should come up right? But heck no. I even subscribed and still nothing. Zilch. And I end up missing your posts all the time. Anyway I'm catching up. Plus, I don't really sit down with the laptop during the weekend. As it is, my husband remarked that I'm "swollen from every angle he looks at me". Yes I'm no stranger to fats. I'm thinking (seriously) to do something about it before I blow out of proportions.
ReplyDeleteSo you're sick? Poor you. Have lots of liquid love and take care of that Nukish tush! Much love..;p
Happy Hour, I'll be careful, thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteRita, yep, been there too many times. You always walk away feeling like the kids on the playground wouldn't let you jumprope with them. Ick! Love the weird ramble. :)
Suthern, you've got a good point there. Exactly.
Steph, it's probably only a matter of time before she does! And uh, I thought candy made you better sooner? lol.
Johana, send me your e-mail and I'll put you on the e-mail list thingy. Wouldn't want you to miss out on any of the fun! Thanks for the love! :)
Hay!!! I've got this problem... And... Nah, I'm all cooli-doodles.
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling a bit better, nobody likes being ill. :( Oh yeah, and I hope that next time you remember to feel ill between the hours of 7.30 and 8 because DUH that's when the illness hits and not at any other point of the day. Yeaaaaah. Some rules are there to be broken.
When it comes to swearing in business. I mean, c'mon, I can't go through a conversation without slipping the f-word out at least once. But I wouldn't even dream of using it in a professional situation. I even avoid using the softer swearwords British people have invented (like 'pap', 'tosser', 'bugger', 'bloody') because it's just not right. And if a salesperson would use such language in front of me, I'd go all ghetto on their ass (who am I kidding, I'm a white girl from a small town in Finland. I can't do ghetto. But I can try!! Can I?) and be like nu'uh u di'nt.. And walk straight out. Technically adults should be able to find better filler-words than 'f-in' this or 'bleeping' that.. :P
xx
oh my goodness, the Kia commercials KILL me! have you seen the one they play around Christmas time with the rapping santa and elf? "santa's got a brand new ride." so totally unprofessional. and weird. and the song is always stuck in my head!
ReplyDelete